Photo-Illustration: The Cut; Photographs: Getty

Have you discovered yourself hysterically weeping in a fast-food joint’s parking lot, your very best friend simultaneously trying to hand-feed you and hold your hair back as you yell, “Take me out! Exactly how will I ever before go on? I’ll never love once again!” through snotty tears? Or could you be … perhaps not gay?

Ah, heartbreak! The reason tracks are sung and mural art are painted, the determination behind large art-like

Romeo and Juliet

and

Red (Taylor’s Version)

. I thought I’d seen it-all, felt the pain. But I
began matchmaking ladies
— and regrettably, something they forget to say at Lesbian Orientation would be that your first queer separation will damage you, in a “could I end up being hospitalized because of this enormous and insurmountable enduring” type of method. Eventually experiencing actually and emotionally attracted (and committed) to some body you like only hits different.

A couple weeks back, I found my self in the throes of my personal basic lesbian break up. I cut-up my personal ex’s shirt into a thousand pieces, smeared puppy poop throughout it, and remaining it in order for them to find in leading property. Then I retired towards the convenience of my own depression cavern (my personal sleep) and did what any heartbroken Gen Z–millennial cusp should do mid-breakup: doomscroll on TikTok in to the wee hrs. But as I started the software plus the little FBI man during my phone shuttled me personally directly to the front page of Lesbian TikTok, we easily realized the sapphic gods had not only appear personally — that they had are available for all of us

all

. From inside the words of queer TikToker Victoria Paris, ”
Every white homosexual ladies tend to be battling!

Blame it regarding the
Lesbian Breakup Curse
. Through the few days I happened to be unplugged from the online world, sleeping facedown back at my cooking area flooring and feeling sorry for me, Lesbian TikTok definitely imploded over a few high-profile queer breakups that tore the #wlw community to parts.

It appears just as if most of the TikTok lesbians are breaking up in addition, therefore the drama makes

Love Island

appear to be kid’s play. Based on some, the Curse was
at first cast
whenever lesbian pop celebrity Fletcher started teasing another track from the woman future record,

Female of My Aspirations

. The track, “Becky’s therefore Hot,” describes so how hot the woman ex’s brand new sweetheart is and suggests that she desires to discover how hot-girl Becky “tastes.” Fletcher’s ex, prominent LGBTQ YouTuber Shannon Beveridge, immediately took to TikTok herself as a result into the song, making clear that “not one person asked permission.” Gay
turmoil
ensued.

Suddenly, celebrity lovers which range from A-lister
JoJo Siwa
and former girlfriend Kylie Prew, to university basketball celebrity
Sedona Prince
and former girlfriend Rylee LeGlue had been separating faster than they could U-Haul originally. Together with gays online happened to be Eating! It! Upwards! There have been clapback duets, incriminating opinion
posts
, not too sly visits to
Disneyland
, $80
merch
on the market,
literal invoices
— how do a lesbian with a full time work and a screen-time restriction on her behalf phone potentially actually keep up?! Well, i did so just what any heartbroken lesbian have to do at any given time such as this: we called from work, popped some popcorn, got a couple of Klonopin, smashed that “Ignore Limit” option, and held scrolling.

If your wanting to come at me personally for reveling from inside the suffering of actual folks, listed here is the fact: when you are in your own dark colored location, could feel great to look at someone else’s existence falter. Otherwise, so why do we see wonderful reality programs like

Love Island

or

90 Day Fiancé

? Even a conventional rom-com can hit the area. Drama heals drama, and absolutely nothing shuts your brain down that can match projecting your own personal pain and suffering onto innocent Brits who simply want to get a hold of really love in a villa.

The Lesbian Breakup Curse is more than simply a mystical (and maybe astrological) phenomenon taking over our very own social-media nourishes. It fills a necessity for material that is relatable, practical, and strongly related the queer society. Whenever I ended up being ultimately able to lock my phone, dried out my personal rips, apply some chunky platform boots, and do the L.A. lesbian bar world by violent storm, the number 1 topic of talk was, predictably, the Curse. This is certainly all of our Ultra Bowl.

Lesbian representation when you look at the mass media is actually minimal (and questionable!) at best, when considering mindless gay separation content material, its slim pickings for all of us queers. This obsession utilizing the personal matchmaking life of lesbian ladies is due to a desperation for really a good gay television. If we had a lesbian internet dating tv show involving carabiners, the Woods on a Wednesday evening, and taking a trip 12 hrs and three-time areas for a primary time, we probably wouldn’t need to target a great deal on a “curse” that was outlined for us on TikTok.

So certainly, its real I found myself a prey of Lesbian separation Curse (obviously, it strikes many of those with fewer than 100 followers on TikTok, too), nevertheless pulled myself upwards of the bootstraps, slapped me around several times, had gotten me through dog-poop phase, and aided me get some necessary point of view. Indeed, i do believe We’ll credit my whole recuperation to the Curse — we gays truly carry one another up, don’t we? And talking about lifting upwards, right stress, no exes were hurt from inside the authorship of your story. Actually, after half a session of couples therapy and something Phoebe Bridgers concert, we’re not just exes any longer. (Gay, I know.)